Beowulf  & Godsylla

Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle, monstær lurccen;
Fulle few too many drincce, hie luccen for fyht.
Ðen Hreorfneorhtðhwr, son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,
Æsccen æwful jeork to steop outsyd. Þhud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom! Ðe bigge gye
Eallum his bon brak, byt his nose offe;
Wicced Godsylla wæld on his asse.
Monstær moppe fleor wyþ eallum men in hælle.
Beowulf in bacceroome fonecall bamaccen wæs;
Hearen sond of ruccus sæd, "Hwæt ðe helle?"
Graben sheold strang ond swich-blæd scharp
Stond feorth to fyht ðe grimlic foe. "Me," Godsylla sæd, "mac ðe minsemete."
Heoro cwyc geten heold wiþ fæmed half-nelson
Ond flyng him lic frisbe bac to fen
Beowulf belly up to meaddehæle bar,
Sæd, "Ne foe beaten mie færsom cung-fu."
Eorderen cocca-cohla yce-coeld, ðe reol þyng.


Meanwhile, back at the hall, monster lurked,
full of to many drinks, he lurked for a fight.
Then Hrothgar son of Hrothgar,
Asked the awful jerk to step outside. Thud! Bash! Crash! Boom! The big guy.
All of his bones broke, and bit his nose off,
Wicked Godsylla fell on his ass.
Monster mopped the floor while all the men were in the hall,
Beowulf in backroom, phone call from back home
Hearing sound of ruckus said, "What the hell?"
Grabbing strong shield, switch-blade was sharp
Send forth to fight the grim like foe. "Me, Godsylla said, "Make me mince meat"
Hero getting hold quickly with half-nelson
And flying him like a frisbee back and forth.
Beowulf belly up to the mead-hall bar
Said, "No foe beating me up for some kung-fu."
Ordering ice cold coca-cola, the real thing.